Zac’s Story
My name is Zac and I have not found it necessary to pick up a drink since Dec 2nd 2014. I am in Australia to visit my sponsor. Sponsorship can work across oceans. The meetings in MacArthur district are great. The AA fellowship is warm and welcoming from Campbell town and Tahmoor to Nowra.
I was a black out drinker at age 25. I started going to psychiatrists, therapists, church & doctors, because I thought the thing wrong with me was being Gay. I would never tell the truth when I was asked how much I drank. A co-worker suggested I go to an AA meeting. I needed a few drinks before the meeting. I don’t remember much about that meeting, but I do remember them saying – Keep coming back! No one had said that to me for a long time. I was banned from my watering holes, I had no money or a job, I was lonely and my relationship at the time was on the rocks.
I was a black out drinker at age 25. I started going to psychiatrists, therapists, church & doctors, because I thought the thing wrong with me was being Gay. I would never tell the truth when I was asked how much I drank. A co-worker suggested I go to an AA meeting. I needed a few drinks before the meeting. I don’t remember much about that meeting, but I do remember them saying – Keep coming back! No one had said that to me for a long time. I was banned from my watering holes, I had no money or a job, I was lonely and my relationship at the time was on the rocks.
I thought AA would help me stop drinking, to get a job & money and help me to drink like normal people. I went to meetings and was always obsessed with thinking about drinking or keeping myself from drinking. My will power kept me dry for 14 years. My will power was strong or so I thought. Moving across the country was the answer. But my life was unmanageable. The time came when my life was unhappy, restless, ill-tempered and discontent, but didn’t know it. Once again I thought of a drink and that spree lasted 2 years.
I crawled back to AA. I thought I had surrendered, but nothing changed. I continued to do the same things; go to meetings, get a sponsor but did not work with him and do the steps. Most of all I could not and would not trust in God. No, God abandoned me years ago. My will power would allow me to get better jobs, get married, and buy a beautiful home and 3 cars in the garage. Money was my higher power. Nine more years of untreated alcoholism in AA.
Once again the thought of a drink. This time I would know hopelessness like no other. I lost my job, and my drinking now was around the clock. My spouse was ready to file for a divorce. I was at the jumping off point where I could not go on. I knew this would kill me and I wanted to die. I was hospitalised and received the gift of desperation. I knew AA worked for others, but had no hope for me. I became honest with my doctors and I was willing to take direction and go to any lengths to get and stay sober. I got a home group and worked the twelve steps (all of them) with my sponsor. Most of all I started relying on God. I believe God brought me to AA and the 12 steps brought me to God. Now my days are filled serenity and peace of mind. I’m no longer ashamed, I look others in the face and walk this earth knowing I am a child of God. I try to be of service and help AA and Alcoholics everywhere I go. I no longer think of drinking, the obsession to drink has been removed. My primary purpose in life now is to stay sober and help others. Life is good with my partner of 19 years. I am blessed and now rely on God’s power rather than my own.
I crawled back to AA. I thought I had surrendered, but nothing changed. I continued to do the same things; go to meetings, get a sponsor but did not work with him and do the steps. Most of all I could not and would not trust in God. No, God abandoned me years ago. My will power would allow me to get better jobs, get married, and buy a beautiful home and 3 cars in the garage. Money was my higher power. Nine more years of untreated alcoholism in AA.
Once again the thought of a drink. This time I would know hopelessness like no other. I lost my job, and my drinking now was around the clock. My spouse was ready to file for a divorce. I was at the jumping off point where I could not go on. I knew this would kill me and I wanted to die. I was hospitalised and received the gift of desperation. I knew AA worked for others, but had no hope for me. I became honest with my doctors and I was willing to take direction and go to any lengths to get and stay sober. I got a home group and worked the twelve steps (all of them) with my sponsor. Most of all I started relying on God. I believe God brought me to AA and the 12 steps brought me to God. Now my days are filled serenity and peace of mind. I’m no longer ashamed, I look others in the face and walk this earth knowing I am a child of God. I try to be of service and help AA and Alcoholics everywhere I go. I no longer think of drinking, the obsession to drink has been removed. My primary purpose in life now is to stay sober and help others. Life is good with my partner of 19 years. I am blessed and now rely on God’s power rather than my own.