My name is Jetta & have been given a sobriety date of 2 January 1991. I was given that date as I did try to stop drinking on my own for a long time but just couldn’t stop. I was a business woman owning a beautiful florist & nursery. Had a big family of wonderful kids, I was married to a professional man and had built a very nice home in Sydney with a weekender on the Central Coast. I had it all great holidays new cars plenty of money coming in. I just couldn’t stop drinking.
I started going to health farms, church & doctors, but not telling them the truth about the amount I was drinking, as was just so ashamed. I couldn’t understand why I was drinking so much always making promises to stop, begging God to stop me buying it. My head just couldn’t stop thinking about it.
My kids started to leave home one by one as I was always fighting with the husband & them for accusing me of drinking too much and now violence was happening in the beautiful home we had built. Arguments screaming & lashing out with the husband. I even took to him with a knife one night when I was so drunk & thanks be to God he locked himself in our bedroom till I passed out. Awakening to find a few of his brothers standing over me stating I was a disgrace & a wino. The shame I felt – I just wanted to die. Where was my strong will to stop? I just couldn’t.
My business started to go down, the kids had all gone, I couldn’t stop shaking & was itchy all over like I had fleas.
I started to go to a psychologist who suggested I go to AA meetings which I did. I was always drunk as I couldn’t seem to leave the house unless I was topped up with Mosel. I stunk as well, even after having a couple of showers.
I was sitting in a meeting one day when I heard a woman share that alcoholics aren’t bad people, but that we are sick people; spiritually, mentally & physically. She presided to share that when we take a glass of grog something happens in our body [A physically craving] & we need to have more, the body has this craving. Wow, I related to that! My head with the thinking was taking me to have a drink & once I started I couldn’t stop. The woman said we have to surrender. Well how do I do that?
I started going to AA meetings every day as I felt some relief & made a decision to stop on the 1st January 91, making a NY’s resolution to stop, but got drunk again the next morning. Passed out waking up some hours later just saying to God just do with me what you want to do with me God as I can’t stop drinking. Well, laying on the floor I was so very desperate, ashamed & sick asking my Creator to help me. I felt like a butterfly deep in my gut & from that day I haven’t had another drink.
It was very hard, but I was told to go one day at a time, watching the clock & asking God to help me. I was told to get a sponsor in AA, to buy a Big Book, and join a home group where I had support from others, that I could ring & go have coffee with every day. So what has happened, my sponsor showed me how to go through the 12 steps. I had a new experience deep down within where the alcohol used to hit & felt a new Power within me. It took a long time for me to get sick and a long time to get well. I now sponsor others & take them through the 12 steps. i have started a group where I now live.
I was married for 27 & half years, the alcohol took that away with mostly everything else. My new life has given me a new partner, and as a result of amends in the 9th steps I have beautiful relationships with my kids Grandchildren & Gt. Grandee’s. I’am now retired living in a beautiful village in the Southern Highlands of NSW.
I travel every year to the USA & stay with friends I have met in Sobriety, I also travel all over different states of Australia staying with AA friends or family.
I give thanks to God every day for the wonderful blessings I have been given, & not to be living in the bondage of self that alcohol had me doing. Today my life is having a quite mind & a peaceful heart, know who I am and what my purpose is here on this earth. To be of use to God & all about me.
So if you are a woman that drank like me, there is a solution for a new and wonderful sober life. It’s all on offer at Alcoholics Anonymous.
I gave my life to serve in alcoholics Anonymous & now can live at peace within the world. I live a full life of abundance and can be totally honest with others and not use people as I did in the past.